Ladies and Gentlemen, gather the kids around ye olde computer and pull out your calendars. It's the moment you've all been waiting for, perhaps even anxiously anticipating.
That's right, we have a release date for gravida. Are you excited? Relieved? Thrilled? Because we are.
The date: Thursday, 12 July 2007 at 7.30 pm at the Hollywood Theatre in Dormont. Our good friend Jerome Wincek will perform for the first time in Pittsburgh in a very long time. In addition, you'll get to see two additional short films and hobnob with the very elite of the Pittsburgh community. Some are even calling it the social event of the year (Ok, so no one's saying that). The cost? A mere $5.
So, what does your ticket get you, in a addition to the first ever public screening of gravida?
A live performance by Jerome Wincek
Some Analog Lines, a film by David Lowery
L'Attente, un filme de Lucas McNelly
By the end of the week, we should have some kick-ass posters ready to be plastered around town.
That's all the key info, but chances are that you have questions. Ergo, we have answers.
Q: What the hell took so long?
A: That's a good question. Buy me a drink some time and I'll tell you all about it.
Q: Where is this place, anyway?
A: The Hollywood Theatre is a classic theatre that's recently been restored. It's at 1449 Potomac Avenue across from the big church in lovely, scenic Dormont.
Q: I would like to pre-order tickets for every single person I know. How do I do that?
A: That's a very good question. You email yours truly, Lucas McNelly, at lmcnelly[at]gmail[dot]com and reserve the tickets that way. Or, call me at 724.544.6417 and leave a message. Feel free to pay when you show up. But fair warning: if you pre-order tickets and then don't show up, we're going to make sarcastic, smart-ass comments about you while you aren't there.
Q: Is this film any good?
A: We think so. The internet buzz is pretty good. In the near future the critics will weigh in.
Q: Can I still donate to the gravida fundraiser and get tickets that way?
A: You sure can. If you donate in November, we'll add it to the fundraiser total. But, if you want to donate and end up with tickets, you gotta do it before the premiere.
Q: A Thursday? But then I won't be able to watch "My Name is Earl" and "The Office".
A: They're in re-runs and if you didn't catch it the first time around, that isn't really our fault. Anyway, here's what you'll miss: Earl helps someone while rocking the best mustache currently on TV, and Michael Scott does something embarrassing. Nothing else is on that night. We checked. Also, your other plans cancelled.
Q: You're playing a short film by the guy from Cracker?
A: Nah, it's a different David Lowery. He's a very talented filmmaker from Dallas.
Q: Does the film have explosions, car chases, and/or buddy cops?
A: Sadly, no. But there are some special effects.
Q: Can I bring my dog/cat/hamster/goldfish/small child?
A: You probably don't want to bring the pets, but feel free to buy each and every one of them a ticket anyway. As for kids, you're responsible for their upbringing, not us.
Q: I mean, is the film appropriate for children?
A: Probably not, but none of us have kids, so we can't be sure. It can't be much worse than what they already watch on TV.
Q: Where can I eat a hearty meal before and/or after the film?
A: Dormont has a number of fine eating establishments within easy walking distance. Also you could go to the gas station down the street. If you get there early enough (as in, early in the afternoon), you can eat at Fredo's Deli next to the theatre and support a business that gave us a catering discount during filming.
Q: Will any celebrities be there?
A: We can't make any promises, but chances are good.
Q: Can I help you put posters, etc, all over town?
A: You sure can. We can use as much help with that as possible, even if it's just putting a poster up in your car window. Email me and we'll figure out how to get some to you.
Q: I am not in Pittsburgh, but would like very much to see the film. Should I fly there just for the occasion?
A: Probably not. But, contact us, as plans are under way to bring gravida to a city near you.
Q: I am unable to have fun without alcohol. Can you help me?
A: Why, of course. After the film there will be wine and socializing (pending the final details) and Dormont has a number of bars that can easily quench your thirst.
Q: My life lacks purpose and focus. What should I do?
A: Come to the premiere, obviously. Oh, and buy a DVD when you get there.